welcome to the late night ramblings and melatonin-induced thoughts of michelle. stuffy nose and all.
i'm thankful for a daddy that responds to the latest of late night texts coming from a lost girl.
a daddy that calls me up right then and there at 3:30am to tell me that i'm absolutely wonderful
and that my gosh, i deserve the best. and then listens to my secret sadness and my deepest hurts that have somehow and suddenly come out of nowhere again, even though they were buried and pushed away only just days before. and then just days before that as well. i can't really explain it, but life lately seems to just repeat itself over and over like a broken record. and yet, it appears i can't simply pick it up, learn it, and move on to the next lesson.
just tell me this crap is all worth it someday. tell me one day i can stop jumping from one verbal life raft to the next, and i'll be able to walk on some actual solid ground of my own again. because this "fake it til i make it" routine of the last three months is getting so very old. memories around here cannot be rewritten all too easily, and i'd like to feel something other than stagnant and surface leveled because of them. i'd like to shake off all of this unwanted familiarity and start something new.
i know i know, i'll be okay.
