on to the next one.

as of late, 

there's been a turn of events that, sadly and quite honestly, 

i had seen coming for a while.

the deepest part of me was trying my hardest to essentially force a square to fit inside a circle, 

but naturally things just didn't work out.

the facts needed to be faced.

and time seen as lost can also be seen as experience gained.

here's the deal:

from now on, i'm no longer in the business of lying to myself.

from now on, if anything feels off, 

if any freaking part of me has to delay or deny reality in order to make whatever i'm doing fit with what i want, then count me out.

in fact, consider me marathon running in the other direction.

because what's the point of trying to make something work that i know i don't even want?

i didn't even want it.

i'm not tricking my gut feelings anymore.

it's not economically or emotionally worth it.

my motto: anything other than yes is no.

if it's not a yes!, it's a dang no.

[a "haaaiil nooo", if you will]. 

and some may think that's just too extreme.

that there's always a gray area in that black and white world that you can dance around in for months,

wondering if what you're pursuing is what the deepest part of your core longs for.

and delaying the confrontation to just see what happens or if things will change.

but what it really comes down to is that i'm on the path to figuring out what i want to be and where i want to be going.

i don't have time to twiddle my thumbs and hope for change.

hope for some strong resonating reassurance.

i'm no longer not listening to that little voice that, from the beginning of it all, told me NO.

no no, i'm now in the business of progression.