horror film.

"The Haunting of A Past Boyfriend"

oh, it's just a movie that's been chasing me and playing in my face every month for the last three years of my life.

and apparently will not stop until i freaking die.

it's coming to a theater near you.

literally, the movie will stalk down your address like a creep and write you a butt-long letter that you'd rather die than read.

and there's no remote control powerful enough to shut the freaking thing down because it never dies.

it insists of replaying the same message over and over and over.

here's a hint:

when i don't answer you, i don't love you.

you're endlessly working towards an empty cause.

and your memory is crap.

leave me the freak alone.

gosh, i wanna scream and run away at the same time.

daylight savings bitterness/soggy tacos.

[i would rather hold my breath for about a minute than lose a stupid hour of sleep to daylight savings. also, i miss my california summer with my girls too much.]

today is daylight savings.

let me just tell you that i do not, nor will i ever, understand this concept.

why are we all just pretending it's an hour earlier or later twice a year??

it makes no sense!

just so we can get in some extra daylight time? uhhh, okay?

let's just lie and bend the rules of time and the laws of gravity and change our clocks.

freaking sickos.

i'll always know the truth.

arizona and whatever the other state is are the coolest states for dgafing and being honest and keeping it real and not defying gravity and time and all that crap.

i'm just sayin'.....

eureka for europa posts that are oh, so late, but i oh, don't mind.

november 2, 2011.

art history class with bernie.

we went to the musee d'orsay [musee=museum in french. i'll never forget how bernie would pronounce "museum" like "musayum" because that's how "musee" is pronounced....moving on..] to look at works like monet [one of my favorites], cezanne, and courbet.

the cool part about this museum is that it used to be a train station and then was turned into a museum, so the actual building itself is freaking rad.

or maybe i'm just a dork and get excited about architecture after studying it so much here [in paris, not provo].

 [snappin' quick pics of the ceiling....who knew that in museums you'd want to take a picture of the actual building and not just the art? okay, that was a dorky question, forgive me.]

 [gooorgeous.]

[umm, can i have this frame? i'm serious.]

there were some good pieces, and then some not so good ones.

but i guess that's what you get when you're dealing with art. 

sometimes you have to stand in front of a picture of a lady's naked crotch and stare anywhere else and want to be dead while your teacher critiques it.

literally, i'm not kidding.

revolting.

anywaaays,

after class, a group of us decide we want some good ol' rice and beans.

and when we get there, i decide to do the unthinkable.

get tacos instead of my beloved el super burrito.

now that i'm thinking about it, i have no idea why i wanted to veer away from something so delicious, because i was about to eat the crappy meal from heck.

okay, i'm being a little dramatic. the tacos weren't horrible. but they were definitely no el super and were all liquid-y and that never goes well with me.

[okay, i know what you're thinking, why am i being so dramatic? they look fine, right? well yeah, it's not like i'm eating dog crap. they are edible. and they weren't terrible, but i definitely regretted getting them, and that always annoys me. also, i apologize for the blurriness of the picture, i was crying. not really. my camera was acting up or something.]

i didn't even get to actually get the tacos i wanted because they were out of all good kinds of meat aka chorizo and chicken and steak. so basically, pork it was. and i would've traded my left thumb to have been able to eat the beautiful el superrr instead of that watery, soggy mess of a plate.

after that, me and tiff slinked away to do some shopping on rue st. honore, which is over by the tuileries. it's basically the rodeo drive of paris. i mean, it's got all this fancy shopping and it's where a lot of celebrities shop when they come to paris because it's right by the ritz hotel. 

super fancy and super fun.

i may or may not have pretended like i was super posh and rich [you know, with my jeans and sweater on].

and we may or may not have gone to the longchamp store...

[i understand that you're jealous of the quality of my pictures. it's okay. i'll give you a tutorial on how to take the most blurry and out of focus pictures ever. here's a tip: never stop moving.]

alright, guess i'll get back to living a lie of a life.

but guess what everybody?

it's really almost 1:00, not 2:00 right now.

yeahh i said it, do something about it.

[like change back the clocks please? alright, i give.]

nostalgic.

songs and clothes have such strong, vivid memories for me.

i attach instances in my life with when i wore certain pieces of clothing, or listened to certain songs on a specific occasion.

not with my whole wardrobe or playlist, but enough to have a handful of really good memories that get to be replayed in my mind every once in awhile when i am reminded and inspired by bringing back the music or the outfit.

putting on this shirt and getting ready, my music was on shuffle.

and my favorite song, clair de lune, came on.

i have memories of walking around the orangerie museum on a cold and rainy day in paris.

my favorite kind of day.

it was actually my last day in the city, and i had wanted to see the museum before i left so i made the trek over there from hotel de ville.

i had about a million bags full of clothes and souvenirs and food that i had bought that morning, and i literally had to rent one of those crates with wheels from the museum to fit all my stuff in it.

definitely embarrassing. definitely represented america well there.

i stood in the monet exhibit room for a good thirty minutes listening to clair de lune over and over and just stared.

something about that song makes me wanna just melt. and sit. it's like one of those really hot days in arizona where you're sitting in the car after church and the heat is radiating through you.

and you're paralyzed.
it just stops you.
but it a really good, calm way.

i sat in the exhibit, looking at pictures full of blues and purples and greens all swirling together.

and i was wearing this shirt too.
i remember feeling like an art student because i had used my art card to get in, and i looked so grungy and dirty [no offense].

[umm, it might have been like two weeks dirty, and with about a million other random layers on as well. you're welcome for that info.]

 i remember really wanting to cry after awhile.

something about the song and leaving the loveliest city the next morning all coming at me.
i felt so overwhelmed and sad for my three months in paris to already be over.
i wanted to burst.
to already be expected to go back to america and leave my france.
i hadn't even learned french all the way.
or went inside the rodin museum.
or tried the potato salad by sacre coeur.
there was so much rushing to me that i never got to do.

later that day, i walked over to the eiffel tower to "say goodbye".
still beautiful and gray and rainy everywhere.
looking at it, i knew for a fact that i was coming back again sometime in my lifetime.
there was just no way i couldn't.
and after i realized that, the heavy, rushing feelings left me.

and cliche-ically [that's a word] enough, i was content. happy. calm.

i smiled at le tour eiffel and i left.

mmmmm. i so miss you, paris.

no french-ing in here.

for your viewing pleasure:

[found this today and it absolutely rocks my world. i miss my sassy little she-she! "how many she-she's?" "2...1..." hahaha]


you know i'm in a frustrated mood when the internet connection is crappy and i realize i'm completely out of groceries and am forced to eat some of my pasta from italy with salt and pepper.
freakin' lame.
also, i woke up this morning with a sore throat, stuffy nose, and my body feeling like it was steam roller-ed.

fifty times.

this weekend=too much party rocking, not enough studying.

baaaad girl, michelle.

seriously, i have a test and two papers and reading due tomorrow.

and here i am blogging?

i've got my priorities straight, don't worry.

but happy news for alllll, my laptop got fixed.
FOR FREE [i love you, apple. always have, always will].

so we're gonna do a flashback today and do another europe post.

and by we, i mean me.

my brain totally sucks today.

also, i finally upgraded my mac to the "lion" software [smart guy at the apple store asked if i was using snow leopard or lion. wtf?? animals?? i thought we were talking about computers here. lemme just shift gears real quick....uhh ummm, so tigers huh? but seriously.] and i'm still getting used to the little perks aka why did i spend $30 on differences i cannot understand how to use?
i'm like one of those old people now that have to take computer classes [no offense mom].

somebody splain it to me.
although, one highlight is that i now have more options for my photo shoots with myself.
we all know what that means :]

girls just wanna have fun.

alright, now for the cream.

tuesday, november 1st.

it was a super bleak and rainy day in paris.

the girls were supposed to do a french photoshoot where we dressed up like typical french people with scarfs and berets.

but alas, it was too cloudy and rainy.

me, tiff, annie, and sam decided to go shopping instead.

actually, more like me and tiff because sam and annie ditched us in zara [i'll never forgive you guys. just kiiiding.].

anyways, i got a super cute gray shirt that had a sheer black backing, and a cream sweater with navy stripes that manages to look too big and too little all in one. 

maybe they were expensive. maybe they weren't.

but i found comfort in the fact that tiff basically bought the entire store haha.

after, we decided to get some food at this cute diner that we had walked by a few times by our lady's apartment called shwartz' deli.

honestly, it was super expensive for just being a burger and fries, but it was a burger and fries.

i know it sounds stupid that i craved this so much while being in paris.

but it just reminded me so much of home.

its kinda like those people that hold on to their baby blanket even until college.

it's dumb and it's weird, but they love it and need it.

okay, really bad metaphor. you get the point.

anyways,

tiff had gone with sam the day before and they said it was AMAZING.

like, gourmet good. and huge. and they had root beer [RARE. i'm telling ya, those europeans do not like their root beer. and it's definitely something you start to crave and fantasize about...uhh, root beer float dreams? maybe.], so i was definitely in.

and disappointed, i was not.

 [main reason we got sucked inside: they have speculoos shakes. seriously, this is reeeaal life. also, just reading these words makes me want to go back to france sooo bad.]

 [my date.]

 [my cold one. brewsky, if you will. okay, but seriously, this thing was 3 euros. please don't do the math for how many american dollars that was. and if you do, just know it was worth every centime.]

 [okay, do you see those french fries? whoever created them is a genius, because they're shaped like little boats, or canoes if you will. perfect for pouring ketchup inside like a little hot dog. yesididthat.]

[medium rare spicy cheeseburger. i'm trying to think of a better burger that i've had, but i'm literally stumped. how sad that the french do everything better than us, including our food? also, i just remembered that it was so big that i couldn't even finish it. as in i left some on my plate. as in i'm wanting to fly to paris right now and dig through the trash to finish it. as in i'm pathetic.]

we went home and lounged on the couch as we skyped and blogged did homework, and then a couple hours later, madame percin brought us this:

[please ignore the fact that i look like a boy. uhhh umm, it was the lighting? the hoodlum looking hat?]


and disappointed, i was.
you can't really see what it is, but let me paint a pretty picture for you. oh and then after, i'll tell you what was on the plate [badumbumpshhh. too funny, michelle].
get this: day-old pizza [literally, from her son's halloween party], some random chicken filet thing, and grilled leeks. i don't know what madame percin has up her butt, but it sure is not a finer-cooking bug. that woman n'aime pas faire du cooking [she doesn't like to cook, you're welcome for the translation]. regardless, the food was fine, and was washed down with some chocolate pudding.
in all, a very non-french day.
ohh, the irony.

too le-jit to quit...being my best friend fo' lyfe.

i know it's been a bit since i've written.
i'm sad to announce that i think my laptop has surfed the waves on the internet for the last time.
yeah, so right now, i'm blogging on a public school computer. look away from my computer, chinese boy.
look. away.
i can't be too sure, because i haven't taken it into the doctor yet, but according to my calculations (daddy), it's a goner.
everybody cry with me.
i reeeeaaally hope everything on there can be saved.
hello, all my pictures from europe?
those alone are worth it.
oh, and uhh, my photobooth pictures [always taken with other people, never just myself...........]?
still kicking myself for not sending my photo shoot to the coolest person in the world magazine just a week earlier.
now i'll never know.
okay, moving on.

last week, my wonderful and glorious sisters came into town!
ohhh man, if i didn't hate that week so much because of my tests, i would've loved that week.
yeah.
but i still got to see them for some of the time they were here, and celebrate jit's [angelica's] 18th birthday with everybody.
lori and jit came up to run an errand for my dad, and maria and rick were in town for work.
i only got to see maria and rick for a bit on saturday before they left, but loved every minute of it.

anyways,
we started the week off right by watching the bachelor with all the girls [brinn, tracy, carly, court] and jit and lori joined us.

 [as she says, i'd like to "rip off her head and verbally assault her."]
don't even get me started on how much i hate courtney [from the show].
chinese boy would report me to the honor code office with them hatin' words i've got.
 regardless, it was a really fun night, and a weekly ritual that has become a must for us.

then, come thursday, it was party time for jit.

[ain't she just a babe? can't contain hotness like that.]
i still can't believe this girl is 18.
at the same time, i wonder how she's not 25 yet.
the girl is so mature and so much more grown-up than i was at 18.
she'll probably dominate any state she moves to while i'm still doddling around in utah.
but i love her like crazy.
she's one of the only people that i can say whatever to, and laugh about everything with, and i know she won't judge me or talk behind my back ever.
she's my number one fan, and i'm her number .5 fan [meaning i'm more of her fan. it makes sense, just go with it].

 [i would like my public to know that it took at least fifteen minutes for me to rotate and edit this stupid picture on a PC. something that probably would've taken less than a minute with a mac. macs all the way, errry day. even more convinced of it now.]
we all got together [sam, me, jit, joe, lori, reese, lindsey, and max] and got some j-dawgs.
whoops, cheated on my diet.
oh well, you only live once. might as well gain a heart palpitation/obesity problem while i'm doing this "life" thing.

after, we went back to joe and lindsey's for dessert, which i partook of as well.
super proud of jit for not caving.
i send my condolences to her stomach though, because it was pretty ding-dang-dong gooood.

[who says you can't have two desserts? the one on the left is half a chocolate ice cream sandwich with cherry-chocolate ice cream inside. and the left are my mom's yummy brownies with vanilla bean ice cream. what? happy birthday to my tummy? yes. very much so.]

 ["she-she" crashed early. just doesn't have that party animal in her. yet.]
we also all went around and told stories about jit that we remembered.
i just remember how we would always fight and then stop when the other threatened to throw the other's water baby off the balcony.
or how we hated uncle david so much that we [and sam] tried to make a glue that was sticky so he would get stuck on the ground.
and i won't even start with the bathroom stories.
obviously my family was normal.

we ended the night by watching one of my favorites, one day, up at my mom's.
and topped the night off by sleeping on an air mattress that deflated during the night to turn my body into a banana [just picture it, you'll understand].

in other news, this is the highlight of my week:

[try not to judge the choices of my humor. or the fact that i was up laughing at this with tracy until after 3 in the morning. these are things i cannot control. but seriously though, who makes these??]
okay, enough of a study break, back to my eventful life.
obviously, eventful=studying/shdlahsld in this case.

day of the dead. minus me.

[we can't all be pretty after hours of traveling and a weekend of sugar and carbs, okay?? obviously i've got a firm grasp on that pretzel.]

october 31st.

i don't know about you, but i like to celebrate my halloween's in germany.

NEW TRADITION.

not really.

but it was pretty cool/unreal to be in a completely different country on that day.

facts about halloween in europe:

-not everyone celebrates it.

-they definitely don't pass out candy.

-some people dress up, but suuuper freaky. like, with crazy real-looking makeup. and scary clothes. 

-i just don't like it.

moving on...

the day started off with another grilled ham&cheese with salt and pepper for breakfast. we woke up early because a free walking tour was hosted by the hostel at 10am. 

note about free walking tours: they're never free. you always have to pay tips in some way or form. usually money. but not always.....get your mind outta the gutter.

anyways, i had never been on one before, so i didn't know what to expect.

up walks this guy:

[the guy on the right was our tour guide. i know, you're really jealous of the clarity of this picture. in my defense, he charged us if we wanted a picture of him or with him. so this is me "not taking a picture of him"....he might have known...]

first off, he had the most annoying voice in the world. it was a little high and went all over the place and made you want to laugh and strangle him at the same time. also, i think he believed that this walking tour was really 3 hours of let-me-shove-my-opinions-and-beliefs-down-everyones-throats. granted, he had good facts. but he annoyed the crap out of me. also, me and brynn were pressed for time at the end because we had our train back to paris to catch. we told him when our train left and said we might need to leave early. he said we'd be fine. turns out he went over his three hours, we ended up still having to leave early, we couldn't find the chocolate shop we asked him about that was "on the way" [don't judge me for wanting more chocolate, all the other chocolate was getting sent home by williamson], we were at least a mile away from the train station, and we hardly made it. HARDLY. i'm talking running after it. even though we had just ran the mile there. if you can't tell, we were super bitter about it, and wanted to take back our stupid tip that he guilted out of us.

here are some pictures from the day:

 [i love you germany.]

 [cool bridge that looks like a castle.]

 [inside of a church we quickly strolled through.]

 [outside of the church. i just love that red brick.]

 [the clock tower where the little puppets danced and music played on the hour. the whole town gathers to watch.]

 [arguably the best brat the entire time i was in germany. hands down. the bread was hot and fresh out of the oven. you can even see that it's still a little bit doughy in the left corner. and the brat was spicy. and like, 2-ish euros. can't beat that. and don't even get me started on the mustard.]

 [cool ceiling.]

[german. in germany.]

 [this was a curtain! can you tell? it's not a real building!]

 [delish. in germany, they take their soft pretzels, slice them in half, and slop put the yummiest butter ever on it. and you eat the whole thing and wonder why you didn't buy five more.]

 [i forgot what this was called, but it was gooood. nuts and chocolate and chewiness. probably not worth the 2 euros, but whatever. when in germany, right? also, check out the butter coming out of the pretzel. i have no shame. and no health, apparently.]

when we got back into paris that night, we were greeted with freaky, creepy, bloody skeleton people [for halloween]. lovely. my dreams will be haunted forever. and that's an understatement....? whatever.

today, as i knew it.

[now tell me honestly. do these pajamas make my head look small?]

pet peeves today:

-having a large box packed with a variety of interesting chocolate [seriously, milk chocolate with cookies and nuts in it? you gotta be kiddin' me.] from germany underneath my bed....and remembering it basically every five minutes. dang you. let's just say that it'll be lucky if it makes it through the month of january. i'm that pathetic.

-boys. so stupid, so stupid. wait, not stupid, just oblivious. to the world. yeah, so they're stupid.

-the fact that my ipod died ten minutes into my workout. tell me how i'm supposed to go on when i don't have jay-z and kanye screaming and pumping me up in my ears? my thoughts exactly.

-married people/couples in general. three words: get a room/let's be civil in society, mmkkay? just because you're in love doesn't mean you need to make a child in front of me. and i'd like you to pay for my therapy now to get the visuals out of my mind. [i understand that that was all more than three words. just humor me here.]

-the fact that i still haven't written my 3-page paper that's due tomorrow night. whoops? and i really have no inspiration to start it. somebody motivate me or something! or write it for me.

-ummm, it's winter. in utah. and i'm burning up in my room [this one isn't really a pet peeve....more a "wtf?"]. i am grateful for the no-snow trend that's happening lately though.

-forgetting to buy something for the upteenth [what does that even mean anyways?] time at the grocery store. what is my problem? just remember the dang cotton balls already, michelle.

beautiful happiness:

-waking up to no snow or rain, but perfect weather and yummy, gloomy clouds. my absolute favorite weather.

-eating at zupa's for lunch with my girl chelsea. can i just give that place a standing ovation already? love their soups and salads. and chelsea, of course. delicious chicken chili and a chipotle chicken salad. get in my belly every single day please. 

-helping my annie with a fanny go wedding dress shopping. first off, i wanted to cry [basically every single time i zipped her up in another dress] because i still can't believe she's getting married. second, it was pretty hilarious seeing her try on some of the fugly or dirty dresses that the salesgirl brought to us. all in all, don't go wedding dress shopping with your friend, because then you'll just have to talk yourself out of not taking off your clothes and trying dresses on too and pretending like you're getting married too. too much? oh well.

-animal/protein style burger from in n out. basically, it solves world peace. and by that, i mean without it, i would be ransacking the world for something else to satisfy me. so yeah, world peace.

[everybody say goodnight to pedro. promise i'm not racist.]